Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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