Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
4 words: hood of his car
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
