I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
