Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize