she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
