is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
