I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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