i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
