so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
