i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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