Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
