how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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