my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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