he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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