I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
