dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
