dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
