I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
