Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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