Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
