when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
