Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
