i will never coherently bang her
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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