I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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