my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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