I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.