Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.