I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
