and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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