No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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