The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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