So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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