So drunk its hurt
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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