1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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