My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
