Jerry, you need to find god
i just made my gag reflex go away.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
