me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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