I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
