Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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