I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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