I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
