She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
