But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
