sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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