Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
