she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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