Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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