So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
