elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
