my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
