found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
