One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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