How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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