Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
