I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Semen is not good for contacts.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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