yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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