Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
