so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
