Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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