Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
