i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
3pm strippers are depressing
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
