Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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