Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
