Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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