He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
