you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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