...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
